Antony Peyton Writer and Journalist

Antony Peyton
Dracula: Dull Press Release No.2

Bram Stoker may well turn in his grave if his Gothic masterpiece ‘Dracula’ was promoted with this kind of press release.


Local solicitor provides legal support to Romanian immigrant

Local solicitor, Jonathan Harker, working for his employer, Peter Hawkins of Exeter, is pleased to announce that he has been hired by a Romanian nobleman who wishes to purchase a property in Essex.

Mr Harker will act as an estate agent for Count Dracula, currently based in Transylvania in Romania. The Count has expressed his desire to purchase Carfax Abbey, near Purfleet, in Essex.

Mr Harker said: “The Count is an elderly gentleman and his purchase of Carfax Abbey will provide a welcome boost to the local economy of Essex.

“I am confident in my capacity as acting estate agent that there will be no teething problems in this transaction and hope the Count enjoys his new life in our country.

“I would also like to take this opportunity to clarify a previous comment made by a former employee at our firm. When news of Count Dracula’s plan to emigrate to England was first announced, the former employee in question was heard to remark ‘not another bloody Romanian’.

“The employee has been dismissed for gross misconduct and we would like to apologise to Count Dracula for any offence caused. Our firm does not tolerate any form of discrimination or sexual, physical, mental or other harassment of any kind toward clients, whether from our own staff or others.”

For further information on this event, editors are asked to contact Mr Harker directly.

Count Dracula is available for comments if required, but please ring during the evening as a daytime telephone number is not available at this point in time.

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