Antony Peyton Writer and Journalist

Antony Peyton
Moby-Dick: Dull Press Release No.1

If Herman Melville’s ‘Moby-Dick’ was promoted by a PR agency with a penchant for dull press releases, the result might look something like this.

American sea captain announces his intention to pursue white whale

American seafarer and Quaker, Captain Ahab, 58, announced that he and his crew on the whaling vessel, the Pequod, will, with immediate effect, began the pursuit of a white whale.

In a previous meeting, the captain and the whale, Moby Dick, were involved in an altercation where the former had his leg bitten off by the latter. The captain declined to press charges at that time, but feels after a great amount of reflection that it is appropriate to seek redress.

Captain Ahab said: “We will initially begin our search in the equatorial Pacific Ocean via southern Africa. I will naturally take all reasonable steps to ensure the health and safety of my crew, and the health and safety of others.

“I will report all accidents and incidents (including significant near misses), and to bring to the attention of relevant supervisors any concerns I have regarding health and safety. I will behave in a responsible and safe manner at all times, and will take reasonable steps to encourage others to do so.”

The whale is currently unavailable for comment, but sources close to the cetacean (i.e. plankton) said: “Following the recent announcement regarding the intention of the existing strategic partnership between Captain Ahab and his crew to seek out our colleague, we have reviewed and concluded that our intentions are best served in the longer term by utilising the mouth of another whale. We would like to take this opportunity to wish Moby Dick every success in the future.”

For further information on this event, editors are asked to contact Ishmael, a crew member aboard the Pequod.

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